NFR -- Humor from the terraces never gets old

[Nick the Swede]

Spuds at home, I think two seasons ago we all saw Gomez having a mare at the Cottage. It didn't improve to the chants of 'Gomez for Scotland'  :52:

Millwall at home in the 80's to the 4-5 visiting Grimsby fans:

-"Did you arrive on a a Skateboard?"

Or Ferret (for those of you who know him) singing at Anfield:

-"Ohhh Danny Murphy, he used to play for Liverpool, but NOW he's good!" (Even made most Scousers laugh!)

[Matt]

Arsenal to L'pool after going up 2-0 early in the match to very quiet Anfield.
Where's your famous where's your famous where's your famous atmosphere

We sung that one when we were two up at Britannia in December. Quality.

Also liked the ones about Ian Pierce. Especially the one after his equalizer against Pompey at the Cottage in 2007.
"He only needs one leg!"

[Nick the Swede]

One of my all time favourites has to be:

-"If the Nevilles play for England, so can I!"

and our very own chant to Fat Lampard:

-"We've got your plasma screen! We've got your plasma screen!"

[VB]

Fulham Fans to the Aldershot (very large) steward, He's fat, he's round, He throws people out the ground, fat steward, fat steward
he actually cried  :005:

[Nick the Swede]

Fulham Fans to the Aldershot (very large) steward, He's fat, he's round, He throws people out the ground, fat steward, fat steward
he actually cried  :005:

Haha, soooooo funny!

To the same tune:
-"He's tall he's mad
He dances like your dad

Peter Crouch"

[AlFayedsChequebook]

You'r just a fat eddie murphy, fat eddie murphy! - regularly sung at Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink

He's got the whole world in his nose.. - Fulham fans to Mick McCarthy at the Wolves game, great chant!

[HatterDon]

The one about the Villa fans made me chuckle and remember an away match of there's a couple of seasons ago -- can't remember against who. The home crowd had screamed "hand ball" three times in about 5 minutes and so the Villa travelers began shouting "hand ball" every time a Villa player touched it. This lasted about 2 minutes until the home team managed a weak shot. When Freidel pick it up, the Villa fans screamed "HAND BALL" and then laughter came from all directions. Good stuff.

I also remember the favorite England chant of the 1970s when they played West Germany: "Two World Wars and one World cup."

[The Doctor]

At the Brentford friendly last summer a rather unglamorous looking female steward (think Mrs Twit) appeared to be hassling a little kid wearing a Fulham shirt sitting with his Dad in the (almost empty) home stand. Spontaneously the Fulham faithful start to sing "Man or woman, are you a man or a woman?" to the tune of Guantanamera.

Reminds me of an away game at Chesterfield in 98/99.  There was a steward at our end who looked like Pat Butcher*.  This was repeatedly and racously pointed out to the world in general as the first half wore on ("Two Pat Butchers").  At HT she swapped ends (to cheers of "Don't leave me, Pat...")

*note for overseas FoFers:  Pat Butcher is a character from the popular BBC soap opera "Eastenders".  An old battleaxe

[Stan Drews]

VAN - PER - SEE
When The Girl Says no
Molester Her

After RvP had been accused of rape.

[SuffolkWhite]

Fulham Fans to the Aldershot (very large) steward, He's fat, he's round, He throws people out the ground, fat steward, fat steward
he actually cried  :005:

:011:

Quality

[os5889]

Fulham Fans to the Aldershot (very large) steward, He's fat, he's round, He throws people out the ground, fat steward, fat steward
he actually cried  :005:

Haha, soooooo funny!

To the same tune:
-"He's tall he's mad
He dances like your dad

Peter Crouch"

He's big, he's red,
his feet hang out the bed
Peter Crouch!

[Mike]

My fav ever was when I was sitting in the Riverside stand (?)
Diddy Davies was announcing that a young man was proposing to his girlfriend and from my left came a roar as the hammy end sang....... You don't know what your doing, You don't know what your doing.  :clap_hands:

[Aldo]

The best one has to be "one time, the intertoto one time..." in answer to opposition fans singin "you've never won love all!"

[finnster01]

Then there were the late nineties sung on many a ground towards Arsenal and Arsene Wenger and his bunch of Frenchies when they entered the pitch: "Who let the frogs out, who? who? who? who?" to the tune of "Who let the dogs out"

[Aldo]

Worst must be from the early 1990s when we used to sing "Who needs Cantona when we've got Peter Baah"

[VB]

Again in the old days, up and down the country when away team scored

YOURE GOING F'ING AMBULANCE.

well i suppose you had to be there
scared the b'jesus out of me, some of them ment it

[SuffolkWhite]

I cant remember what the Hamburg fans were singing but they did it in English very well! Also at that game was a Fulham fan doing the W**ker sign with both hands to the Germans. in time with their singing which was quite funny.
:011:

[mrska]

Again in the old days, up and down the country when away team scored

YOURE GOING F'ING AMBULANCE.

well i suppose you had to be there
scared the b'jesus out of me, some of them ment it

Youre going HOME in a fecking ambulance.. bill!

[VB]

Again in the old days, up and down the country when away team scored

YOURE GOING F'ING AMBULANCE.

well i suppose you had to be there
scared the b'jesus out of me, some of them ment it

Youre going HOME in a fecking ambulance.. bill!

  err quite right Dean

[CincyFulham1]

Again in the old days, up and down the country when away team scored

YOURE GOING F'ING AMBULANCE.

well i suppose you had to be there
scared the b'jesus out of me, some of them ment it

Ah, the good 'ol days.  Being escorted to the ground by the police.  Avoiding flying bricks and stones, and being chased by a baying mob to the nearest tube or train station.  One group or another attempting to "take" the opposing end, pitch invasions, the hard men fighting inside and outside the ground.