NFR -- Humor from the terraces never gets old

[HatterDon]

I was watching the Man City v. Leicester City match yesterday and laughed out loud when, right after Tevez scored, the faithful started the chant, "Sign him up, Fergie, SIGN HIM UP." Delicious.

What's your favorite oblique slap in the face chant from the terraces?

[jarv]

I like the simple waving "bye, bye" when an opposition player gets sent off.
Many years ago, Peter shilton got some real stick from the Hammersmith end. Can't remember the tune but it was to do with his wife playing away while he was "away".

[finnster01]

Very partial to the " There's only two Andy Gorams, two Andy Gorams etc" closely followed by the Jimmy Floyd Hasselback one "You are just a fat Eddie Murphy..."

[VicHalomsLovechild]

Made me laugh when the Hammy started singing "we're not singing anymore" when spuds equalized 30 seconds after we scored.

[os5889]

Sit down shut up always makes me giggle.

I enjoyed "theres only on iniesta!"

and

"Are you Brentford in disguise?"

[HatterDon]

I remember a Sunderland match played at Luton in old Division 2. The Black Cats lead striker was ex-Hatter Vic Halom and, after he scored a typical "garbage goal," the Oak Road End serenaded him with "Halom is a Womble." He laughed as much as any of us did.

Which begs the question: I know he's remembered with great affection at Sunderland, Luton, and Fulham. I wonder if anyone has anything bad to say about the way the guy earned his living on the pitch.

[Scrumpy]

I liked the one from Sunderland fans earlier this  year. They visited us just after Mike Ashley at Newcastle had sacked Chris Hughton. Newcastle doing their usual self-destruct job. Anyway, they were singing...

He's one of us
He's one of us
He's one of
Ashley's one of us

Made me laugh. I was going to sing it about Hodgson when we went to Anfield, but alas it was not to be.

[The Doctor]

I'm a massive fan of the random gems you hear from some bloke stood near you.  Two examples of which will always stick in my mind.

Mid-90s, half time kiddies penalty shoot-out.  One lad scores, and runs in front of the Hammersmith End.  He tears off his team's shirt to reveal a Chelsea shirt beneath.  Through a mouthful of pie a bloke near me bellowed, and I mean properly bellowed, "BURN THAT SHIRT".  His voice certainly carried as the lad stopped mid-goad and just sheepishly slunk off.

Late-90s, midweek game at home to Burnley just before Christmas.  Awful game.  We bought Danny Cullip on quite late, and he ended up scoring the winner.  At one point he was racing a Burnley winger down the line for a loose ball, and the shout of "MAIM HIM CULLIP" encapsulated the frustration of the game perfectly

You probably had to be there, mind

[WHITEwitch]

Very partial to the " There's only two Andy Gorams, two Andy Gorams etc" closely followed by the Jimmy Floyd Hasselback one "You are just a fat Eddie Murphy..."

Two of my own favourites as well.

Also enjoyed 'you'll never play for Fulham' to Thierry when he fluffed a kick at Loftus Road and 'how sh*t must you be we're winning away' first heard at Wet Spam.

Oh and 'you're not super anymore' when the Horse nearly scored against us.

[mrska]

I'll always remember when Paul Robinson was the Spurs keeper and we were playing them on a Sunday after the News Of the World had printed a story about his wife leaving him!

When he came down the Hammersmith End.. we all sang 'where's your missus gone..(where's your Missus gone) to the tune of Chirpy Chirpy Cheap cheap..

Robinson turned to the Hammersmith end and shrugged his shoulders....

Everyone stood and applauded that reaction...  a great moment.

[SuffolkWhite]

"Where's your Mourinho gone, where's your Mourinho gone, Where's your Mourinho gone etcetcetc"

Sung by our fans after the special one got the boot at the 0-0 away to Chelski.  :011:

That was followed up in the second half by

F**k off Drogba, F**k off Drogba, etcetcetc sung by our fans in the same match after the diver got sent off  :011:

[os5889]

I remember when I frequented the Stevenage Road stand there was a rather portly fellow who had a dislike of Thomasz Radzinski who proceeded every time he came within 50 yard syelling "sack of poo Radzinski"- he was to be fair

[SuffolkWhite]

 In the past where we were getting a good thrashing and the opposition banged the 4th or 5th in the back of the net and some of our fans would cheer ironically.  :011:

We're winning away I like  :011:

[Me-ate-Live, innit??]

Peeps are not as funny these days ................I blame sitting down !!!

At WHL on New Years  day our boys had great fun with with a Spurt,  Boris Johnson  look -a- like  ....inviting him to sing because ...........it's so quiet at the Lane ........and when he did he  was greeted with : shut up sit down
was Very funny at the time

The Chelsea fans ( all sides ) to Cookie : FAKE TAN......................you went and got faked tanned,  

Us to the Chelsea lot :  Whhhhhhhhhhen the Russian goes to prison you'll be f*****  

Reading supporters to us at theirs in survival year : going down, going down, going dowwwwwwwwwn
Our Reply : So are we ...........so are we .....................so are weeeeeeee

Manchester United : Stand up for The Champions
Our reply : We won it one time...........we win it one time .............the Intertoto we won it one time


ManU..................
Omid Djalili Show show, park park wherever he my be

[cutbushcitylimits]

"Hes gotta squirell on his head"...to Seaman at Highbury.
Also remember Tony Parkes getting dogs abuse from the enclosure whilst playing for Brentford and giving us various finger signs whilst the ref wasnt looking.

[deecee]

At the Brentford friendly last summer a rather unglamorous looking female steward (think Mrs Twit) appeared to be hassling a little kid wearing a Fulham shirt sitting with his Dad in the (almost empty) home stand. Spontaneously the Fulham faithful start to sing "Man or woman, are you a man or a woman?" to the tune of Guantanamera. It still makes me laugh, almost as much as "You've got malaria, you've got malaria" sung to Drogba when we played them earlier this season.

[CincyFulham1]

Some are old some are newer, but it's amazing what you can hear from the stands when the microphones on the pitch are placed just right.  When we first moved to London I went to any stadium I could get a ticket for the match, so I've probably heard a song or chant by most clubs.


He's got
no neck
he looks like fu@king Shrek
Wayne Rooney Wayne Rooney

Park, Park Wherever you may be
They eat dogs in your home county
It could be worse
You could be Scouse
Eating rats in your council house.

Weve got juninho
youve got our stereos
Weve got juninho
youve got our stereos
sung to lpool obviously, by whom?

We've got joy we have fun, we've got Jari Litmanen,
He's got Style, he's got flair,
Got a mullet, we don't care

Arsenal to L'pool after going up 2-0 early in the match to very quiet Anfield.
Where's your famous where's your famous where's your famous atmosphere

Adebayor, Adebayor
Your dad washes elephants
your mother is a whore


I also remember people singing about foreskins at white hart lane and player being refered to as "Taxi" because he was big and black and could carry the whole squad.

[CorkedHat]

The night before the FA Cup Final between Newcastle and Liverpool, Malcolm Macdonald who was playing for Newcastle went on TV and claimed that he would probably score four goals before half time.
Supermac hardly got a kick and as he trooped off at half time the Liverpool fans sang to the tune of Jesus Christ, Superstar: 
"Supermac, Superstar, How many goals have you scored so far?"

[epsomraver]

THE PLAYERS NUMBER FOLLOWED BY THE w*** w*** SONG USED TO CRACK ME UP WHEN SUNG BY THE ENCLOSURE GROUP NEAR THE HALFWAY LINE WHEN IT WAS STANDING , THE PLAYER SINGLED OUT FOR ATTENTIONS FACE WHEN HE CAME NEAR WAS PRICELESS, Sorry for caps

[LRCN]

one of my favourite terrace moments is when villa was losing 3-0 to liverpool and the villa fans in the away section started singing 'let's pretend we scored a goal' and then went mental. they did it 3 more times and sang '4-3 and you fucked it up', made me laugh so much