How a conversation may have went (in my opinion)

[Nick Bateman]

Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman
"We are playing Fulham who has won 5-0 in the last two games. We cannot beat them. How can you, as you say in your country, knobble them?"

Howard Webb
"Greetings your Royal Majesty! (bows) I will tell the referee to give every dive your wonderful beloved Newcastle do, and give as few free kicks as possible to Fulham. As you know your Highness, we have to give a few just to pretend we are not cheating, but none in a dangerous area.
You can tell your players can use the elbow or any rough stuff especially on their lead striker who is vulnerable to head injuries. It might provoke him and if he even does the slightest of fouls we will get him sent off as early as we can. I've got a man in Stockley Park in case the referee misses anything."

Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman
"Thank you Webb. The suitcase is in the usual place."

[Bill2]

Very funny but after watching the incident with Martinelli yesterday you may not be far from the truth.

[Woolly Mammoth]

Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman
"We are playing Fulham who has won 5-0 in the last two games. We cannot beat them. How can you, as you say in your country, knobble them?"

Howard Webb
"Greetings your Royal Majesty! (bows) I will tell the referee to give every dive your wonderful beloved Newcastle do, and give as few free kicks as possible to Fulham. As you know your Highness, we have to give a few just to pretend we are not cheating, but none in a dangerous area.
You can tell your players can use the elbow or any rough stuff especially on their lead striker who is vulnerable to head injuries. It might provoke him and if he even does the slightest of fouls we will get him sent off as early as we can. I've got a man in Stockley Park in case the referee misses anything."

Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman
"Thank you Webb. The suitcase is in the usual place."

That is word for word perfect and exactly what happened.