NFR - Limericks

[The Bronsons]

This comes from "Just a Minute" a few years ago, If it's good enough for BBC Radio 4 at lunchtime I trust it's acceptable here:


There was an old queer from Rangoon
Took a lesbian up to his room.
One of them said
As they lay on the bed
"Who does what, with what, to whom?"

[Fernhurst]

There was a young lady from Devizes
Who had boobs of different sizes
One was quite small, it was nothing at all
And the other was large and won prizes
Get Coat gif

[HatterDon]

a personal favorite:

To his wife said Dick, the detective
"Could it be that my eyesight's defective
Is your east tit the least bit
the best of your west tit
Or is it a trick of perspective."

[FC Silver Fox]

When Thor the God of Thunder
went riding on his filly,
"I'm Thor", he cried,
the filly replied,
"You forgot you thaddle, thilly."

[Logicalman]

She was nice, she was fair,
She had no teeth, she had no hair,
One eye was glass, one leg was wood,
but what was left was VERY good.

[The Equalizer]

There was an old man from Darjeeling,
Who got on the bus at Ealing,
It said on the door,
Don't spit on the Floor,
So he stood up and spat on the ceiling.

The oldies are always the best.

[Sheepskin Junior]

There were two young lads from Brighton
Who thought it'd be cool to start fightin
The teacher stepped in
And got thrown in the bin
And now to their parents he's writin.

Wrote it myself a couple of years ago.

[LBNo11]

A football pitch groundsman from Leeds
Went and swallowed a packet of seeds.
In less than an hour
His head was in flower
And his feet were all covered in weeds.

OR

There was a goalkeeper called Walter
Who played on the island of Malta.
But his kicks were so long
And the wind was so strong,
That the ball ended up in Gibraltar.

[Lighthouse]

Once there was a bloke called Frederick
who liked to write lots of Limericks
But try as he might
He always lost sight

of the rhyming last line.

[aFFCn_Fan]

There once was a manager called Hughes
Who suddenly got the itchy feet blues
He left the mighty Whites
Cos his adviser's a sh*te
And where he is now we ain't got no clues

[aFFCn_Fan]

There is now a manager called Marteen
Who is in charge of our wonderful team
he's got Bobby and AJ
and a whole midfield array
of talent that makes QPhaha jealous and green  

[LordNelson]

There once was a man from Nantucket..............oops, sorry--family board and all


There once was a man from Boston, Mass
Who had two balls made of brass
When they rubbed together
They formed stormy weather
And sparks shot out of his ass  (translation:  arse)

[HatterDon]

There once was a man from Nantucket..............oops, sorry--family board and all


There once was a man from Boston, Mass
Who had two balls made of brass
When they rubbed together
They formed stormy weather
And sparks shot out of his ass  (translation:  arse)

So THAT's what happened to McBrideFan#1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[FFChris]

Twas on the bridge at midnight
Her heart went all a quiver
I undone her suspender belt
Her legs fell in the river

[finnster01]

There once was a player called Salcido
whose only friend was a dog called Fido
He liked the odd tranny
blamed it on his nanny
went back to Mexico to find his libido

[Logicalman]

There was once a team called Stoke,
Who played like a pig in a poke,
They were nicknamed the Potters,
They played like the Trotters,
and their manager was just a sad joke.

[Logicalman]

There was a team called QPR
Who set their sights just to far
They got promoted to the top
Where they proved to be a big flop
and Warnock just said, "I want my ma"

[Senior Supporter]

There was a young player named Baird
Whose performances showed that he cared
Then along came Senderos
Baird lost his place becos
Jol said Hughes couldn't be spared

[AlFayedsChequebook]

There was once a team called Stoke,
Who played like a pig in a poke,
They were nicknamed the Potters,
They played like the Trotters,
and their manager was just a sad joke.

:clap_hands:

[Sheepskin Junior]

There was once a team called Stoke,
Who played like a pig in a poke,
They were nicknamed the Potters,
They played like the Trotters,
and their manager was just a sad joke.

:clap_hands:

+1. Absolutely fantastic