Hammersmith End Toilets - Award nomination...

[Woolly Mammoth]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??

We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.

And you bang on about bogs.

SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.

What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.

So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.

And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.

Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.

Bravo

[alfie]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??

We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.

And you bang on about bogs.

SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.

What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.

So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.

And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.

Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.

Bravo

There is only so much you can say about it, and now it has become boring

[Grassy Noel]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??

We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.

And you bang on about bogs.

SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.

What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.

So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.

And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.

Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.

Bravo

There is only so much you can say about it, and now it has become boring

Quite so Alfie. We should all drop the matter. But perhaps outside the ground.

[Woolly Mammoth]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??

We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.

And you bang on about bogs.

SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.

What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.

So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.

And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.

Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.

Bravo

There is only so much you can say about it, and now it has become boring

Mr Alfie, you are better than that, you know in your heart you enjoy it really. There may be only so much you
yourself can say about it. Most of the population have plenty to say about it for the benefit of health and safety, we do not want another plague of London, or a profusion of Locusts hanging around the perimeter of Craven Cottage while you are trying to read your club program.
But if I cannot talk you into reading it anymore, don't read it, then you cannot complain, move along and discuss the posters put up in Bishops Park that the local residents are having fit over.
Or better still if you want to make yourself useful.
Knock on the main door of Craven Cottage and ask Mr Cottage what he is doing about it, and before you say why don't I do that. It is because I travel by horse and cart and I am waiting for new Nose Bags to arrive for Dobbin and Neddy.
It's because you live local and by your own admittance you are bored, so it will give you something useful to do, and I would be eternally grateful.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation regarding this matter, and I would appreciate you letting me know at your earliest convenience how your conversation went with Mr Cottage and his colleagues and associates.

[alfie]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??

We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.

And you bang on about bogs.

SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.

What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.

So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.

And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.

Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.

Bravo

There is only so much you can say about it, and now it has become boring

Mr Alfie, you are better than that, you know in your heart you enjoy it really. There may be only so much you
yourself can say about it. Most of the population have plenty to say about it for the benefit of health and safety, we do not want another plague of London, or a profusion of Locusts hanging around the perimeter of Craven Cottage while you are trying to read your club program.
But if I cannot talk you into reading it anymore, don't read it, then you cannot complain, move along and discuss the posters put up in Bishops Park that the local residents are having fit over.
Or better still if you want to make yourself useful.
Knock on the main door of Craven Cottage and ask Mr Cottage what he is doing about it, and before you say why don't I do that. It is because I travel by horse and cart and I am waiting for new Nose Bags to arrive for Dobbin and Neddy.
It's because you live local and by your own admittance you are bored, so it will give you something useful to do, and I would be eternally grateful.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation regarding this matter, and I would appreciate you letting me know at your earliest convenience how your conversation went with Mr Cottage and his colleagues and associates.

Well I knocked and he said he will only communicate with your good self, as you appear to be the leader and driving force of the "Bog brigade".

[Woolly Mammoth]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??

We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.

And you bang on about bogs.

SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.

What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.

So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.

And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.

Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.

Bravo

There is only so much you can say about it, and now it has become boring

Mr Alfie, you are better than that, you know in your heart you enjoy it really. There may be only so much you
yourself can say about it. Most of the population have plenty to say about it for the benefit of health and safety, we do not want another plague of London, or a profusion of Locusts hanging around the perimeter of Craven Cottage while you are trying to read your club program.
But if I cannot talk you into reading it anymore, don't read it, then you cannot complain, move along and discuss the posters put up in Bishops Park that the local residents are having fit over.
Or better still if you want to make yourself useful.
Knock on the main door of Craven Cottage and ask Mr Cottage what he is doing about it, and before you say why don't I do that. It is because I travel by horse and cart and I am waiting for new Nose Bags to arrive for Dobbin and Neddy.
It's because you live local and by your own admittance you are bored, so it will give you something useful to do, and I would be eternally grateful.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation regarding this matter, and I would appreciate you letting me know at your earliest convenience how your conversation went with Mr Cottage and his colleagues and associates.

Well I knocked and he said he will only communicate with your good self, as you appear to be the leader and driving force of the "Bog brigade".

Almost right, I am actually 2nd in command in the official chain of Command of the Excrement End which is led by the Head Witchfinder General who is currently at the Wholesalers ordering a shed load of TNT and lashings of highly concentrated Dettol.
The Bog Brigade are a separate organisation funded by someone who I am to understand calls himself Bog, but don't hold me on that.
But it does sound that Mr Cottage was overwhelmingly helpful as the last time I tried to meet him he was on the toilet.
When you have a moment could you try Sir Craven of Cottage who may have more influence as he carries a Sword made from a Sword Fish.

[FFC007]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??

We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.

And you bang on about bogs.

SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.

What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.

So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.

And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.

Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.

Bravo

There is only so much you can say about it, and now it has become boring

Mr Alfie, you are better than that, you know in your heart you enjoy it really. There may be only so much you
yourself can say about it. Most of the population have plenty to say about it for the benefit of health and safety, we do not want another plague of London, or a profusion of Locusts hanging around the perimeter of Craven Cottage while you are trying to read your club program.
But if I cannot talk you into reading it anymore, don't read it, then you cannot complain, move along and discuss the posters put up in Bishops Park that the local residents are having fit over.
Or better still if you want to make yourself useful.
Knock on the main door of Craven Cottage and ask Mr Cottage what he is doing about it, and before you say why don't I do that. It is because I travel by horse and cart and I am waiting for new Nose Bags to arrive for Dobbin and Neddy.
It's because you live local and by your own admittance you are bored, so it will give you something useful to do, and I would be eternally grateful.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation regarding this matter, and I would appreciate you letting me know at your earliest convenience how your conversation went with Mr Cottage and his colleagues and associates.

Well I knocked and he said he will only communicate with your good self, as you appear to be the leader and driving force of the "Bog brigade".

Almost right, I am actually 2nd in command in the official chain of Command of the Excrement End which is led by the Head Witchfinder General who is currently at the Wholesalers ordering a shed load of TNT and lashings of highly concentrated Dettol.
The Bog Brigade are a separate organisation funded by someone who I am to understand calls himself Bog, but don't hold me on that.
But it does sound that Mr Cottage was overwhelmingly helpful as the last time I tried to meet him he was on the toilet.
When you have a moment could you try Sir Craven of Cottage who may have more influence as he carries a Sword made from a Sword Fish.

I look forward to your toilet report for the Chelsea game.

[FFC007]

I'm surprised no one has injured themselves in the bogs with all the accidents and spillages in there.

 

I can confirm many a Dung Beetle has, as well as the odd sewer rat.

I hope they have bred sufficient numbers to get back to work starting 24th August Mr Woolly.

Yes they have enlisted a whole troop of hand picked Skunks who were short listed and who have been complaining about the aroma coming from the excrement end and who have recently rolled around on a profusion of bad eggs for 24 hours to help deal with this epic matter.
They have been instructed to put all their reports in writing, smoke signals no longer accepted as we are in a smoke free zone, and that includes Pipes with Old  Holborn and Old Rope.
Drain Pipes are exempt.
I can confirm that they have been reinforced by a crack unit of Wolverines who covered themselves from head to foot with endless vomit from Infantino when he looked at footage of himself wearing those white Brothel Creepers at the WC Final on Sunday and along with everyone else's vomit having to watch what was an excuse for a karaoke at the halftime period.

I wonder how the local meeting about the state of the bogs went with Fulham FC?

[Woolly Mammoth]

Unfortunately an epic pandemic of Biblical Proportions of Acute Diahoreah, Beri Beri, Dysentery, Pruritus, Parasite Bacterium and Hook Worm hit the meeting just before it commenced.
The Management Committee announced it is gathering information from the victims and researching the premises with a Geigercounter.

[FFC007]

Unfortunately an epic pandemic of Biblical Proportions of Acute Diahoreah, Beri Beri, Dysentery, Pruritus, Parasite Bacterium and Hook Worm hit the meeting just before it commenced.
The Management Committee announced it is gathering information from the victims and researching the premises with a Geigercounter.

You missed out intestinal worms Mr Woolly.

[Woolly Mammoth]

Unfortunately an epic pandemic of Biblical Proportions of Acute Diahoreah, Beri Beri, Dysentery, Pruritus, Parasite Bacterium and Hook Worm hit the meeting just before it commenced.
The Management Committee announced it is gathering information from the victims and researching the premises with a Geigercounter.

You missed out intestinal worms Mr Woolly.

I also missed out informing you that we have invited a special guest down to inspect the Hammy End Ablutions with a Feather Mop.
His name escapes me but I vaguely remember it beginning with Infant and ending with Tino. Something like that.
We are told he is a Pillar of the Community, or was it Pillow. Anyway he is making a personal appearance and we have been told he has a face that could haunt a house, which will be ideal for the creatures at the excrement end. As the plan is to make them think he is one of their own.
In fact legend has it that this Infant Tino bloke when he was born, was so ugly that the midwife smacked his mother.

[FFC007]

Unfortunately an epic pandemic of Biblical Proportions of Acute Diahoreah, Beri Beri, Dysentery, Pruritus, Parasite Bacterium and Hook Worm hit the meeting just before it commenced.
The Management Committee announced it is gathering information from the victims and researching the premises with a Geigercounter.

You missed out intestinal worms Mr Woolly.

I also missed out informing you that we have invited a special guest down to inspect the Hammy End Ablutions with a Feather Mop.
His name escapes me but I vaguely remember it beginning with Infant and ending with Tino. Something like that.
We are told he is a Pillar of the Community, or was it Pillow. Anyway he is making a personal appearance and we have been told he has a face that could haunt a house, which will be ideal for the creatures at the excrement end. As the plan is to make them think he is one of their own.
In fact legend has it that this Infant Tino bloke when he was born, was so ugly that the midwife smacked his mother.

He's toast he is... might need a cleaning job!

[Grassy Noel]

Unfortunately an epic pandemic of Biblical Proportions of Acute Diahoreah, Beri Beri, Dysentery, Pruritus, Parasite Bacterium and Hook Worm hit the meeting just before it commenced.
The Management Committee announced it is gathering information from the victims and researching the premises with a Geigercounter.

I hope that the Committee will not get bogged down or get clogged up with unnecessary paper in the system but create a strong stream of output which will enable them to feel flushed with success.

[FFC007]

Unfortunately an epic pandemic of Biblical Proportions of Acute Diahoreah, Beri Beri, Dysentery, Pruritus, Parasite Bacterium and Hook Worm hit the meeting just before it commenced.
The Management Committee announced it is gathering information from the victims and researching the premises with a Geigercounter.

I hope that the Committee will not get bogged down or get clogged up with unnecessary paper in the system but create a strong stream of output which will enable them to feel flushed with success.

You'll be lucky to get any bog paper in those loos!

[Woolly Mammoth]

Unfortunately an epic pandemic of Biblical Proportions of Acute Diahoreah, Beri Beri, Dysentery, Pruritus, Parasite Bacterium and Hook Worm hit the meeting just before it commenced.
The Management Committee announced it is gathering information from the victims and researching the premises with a Geigercounter.

I hope that the Committee will not get bogged down or get clogged up with unnecessary paper in the system but create a strong stream of output which will enable them to feel flushed with success.

You'll be lucky to get any bog paper in those loos!

They only supply Sand Paper, and Emery Cloth, and at Christmas you might get access to a wire brush. Easter if your lucky will be highly concentrated paint remover applied with a garden trowel.
So good luck and don't do anything I wouldn't do.

[Woolly Mammoth]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Six months later you can be rest assured that your concerns are being addressed in a cordial
manner, by qualified observers.

[FFC007]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Six months later you can be rest assured that your concerns are being addressed in a cordial
manner, by qualified observers.

Namely skunks, rats and other forms of rodentia.

[FFC007]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Six months later you can be rest assured that your concerns are being addressed in a cordial
manner, by qualified observers.

Mr Woolly = chief toilet reporter for FOF news....

[Woolly Mammoth]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Six months later you can be rest assured that your concerns are being addressed in a cordial
manner, by qualified observers.

Mr Woolly = chief toilet reporter for FOF news....

That's the second best qualification I have ever been given.

[FFC007]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Six months later you can be rest assured that your concerns are being addressed in a cordial
manner, by qualified observers.

Mr Woolly = chief toilet reporter for FOF news....

That's the second best qualification I have ever been given.

I'm sure they'll be plenty more comments on the poor state of the loos as the season progresses.

Whoever uses them will be lucky to escape them unharmed.