now that FoF has more "Johnny Foreigners", as a sign of welcome it would be nice if you could give some explanations of various English words or sayings.
I'll start...
Cardiology - study of knitwear
Jigsaw - how you feel after Irish dancing
Bouffant - heckle a typeface
Hairspray - incontinent german
Icicle - a small bike made by Apple
Countryside - killing Piers Morgan
Lymph - to walk with a lisp
Pastiche - what Sean Connery eats in Cornwall
Psychopath - crazy paving
Dilate - live long
Latose - after-effects of frostbite
Platypus - to give your cat pigtails
Catastrophe – Feline punctuation
Gastronome – Anthony Worral Thompson
Crackling – A young drug addict
Quench – A seat made for four people
Abominable – practice frowned upon by all but the most aggressive of matadors
Laxity – a rural area
Polymath – if Janet has two parrots and John has three parrots...
Pumpkin – commit incest
Rampart – part of a ram
Rueful – a traffic jam in France
Roulade - kangeroo fat
Tensile - Ireland, after the credit crunch
Baccarat - to risk a punt in the exciting world of rodent steeplechase
Barbecue - A long line of plastic dolls
Humbug - musical insect
Hamstring - Underwear for pigs
Mars - mothers backside
Gear - An alcoholic drink for ventriloquists
Venezuela - A gondola with a harpoon
Banquette - A very small bank
Oscar - Australlian motor vehicle
Soccer = An American maker of socks
Diver = Any Portuguese called Ronaldo
Transfer window = The window at the McDonalds drive through
Corner = Professional Scrabble Player
Abominable = Bovine High Explosive
Monopoly - a single parrot
Oxymoron - a freakishly big idiot
Semillon = White wine with a hint of viagra
Arsenic = bottom pincher
Land rover = Abandoned dog
Election = chinese wood
Quote from: LBNo11 on July 12, 2011, 03:42:52 PM
Semillon = White wine with a hint of viagra
:011: :011: :011:
Quote from: WhiteJC on July 12, 2011, 02:30:36 PM
Barbecue - A long line of plastic dolls
Humbug - musical insect
Hamstring - Underwear for pigs
Mars - mothers backside
Gear - An alcoholic drink for ventriloquistsVenezuela - A gondola with a harpoon
Banquette - A very small bank
Oscar - Australlian motor vehicle
Goggle -- What one pours a gear into
Fulham - well fed pig
Craven - east end gangsters vehicle
Cottage - how old you have to be to sleep in a crib
This confuses me to an extent inexplicable by words.
Quote from: sipwell on July 13, 2011, 10:18:15 AM
This confuses me to an extent inexplicable by words.
Benelux = Well lit
Quote from: LBNo11 on July 13, 2011, 10:37:04 AM
Quote from: sipwell on July 13, 2011, 10:18:15 AM
This confuses me to an extent inexplicable by words.
Benelux = Well lit
Belgium = The weight lifting part of a gym
Quote from: finnster01 on July 13, 2011, 12:46:26 PM
Quote from: LBNo11 on July 13, 2011, 10:37:04 AM
Quote from: sipwell on July 13, 2011, 10:18:15 AM
This confuses me to an extent inexplicable by words.
Benelux = Well lit
Belgium = The weight lifting part of a gym
Netherlands - where they ought to stick the MJ Statue
Quote from: CorkedHat on July 13, 2011, 01:02:27 PM
Quote from: finnster01 on July 13, 2011, 12:46:26 PM
Quote from: LBNo11 on July 13, 2011, 10:37:04 AM
Quote from: sipwell on July 13, 2011, 10:18:15 AM
This confuses me to an extent inexplicable by words.
Benelux = Well lit
Belgium = The weight lifting part of a gym
Netherlands - where they ought to stick the MJ Statue
...CH, shouldn't that be Neverland..?
Very clever thread this boys.
Nogood "can't add to it, isit" Boyo
Quote from: NogoodBoyo on July 13, 2011, 04:34:14 PM
Very clever thread this boys.
Nogood "can't add to it, isit" Boyo
Wales - the sound made when you find your country ranked below the Faroe Islands...
Great one Airfix!
England - description of a man stuck inside his own organ, isit Morgan.
Nogood "tough that for Sipwell, but you have to understand we pronounce the first two letter of England, isit" Boyo
Pygmy - I'll have the sausages, please
Pharaoh - quite a long distance for a boat without sails
Kaleidoscope - new traffic camera which only captures accidents
Logarithm - to record a piece of music
Quote from: WhiteJC on July 13, 2011, 04:46:28 PM
Pygmy - I'll have the sausages, please
Pharaoh - quite a long distance for a boat without sails
:005: :005: :005:
Quote from: Airfix on July 13, 2011, 04:35:39 PM
Quote from: NogoodBoyo on July 13, 2011, 04:34:14 PM
Very clever thread this boys.
Nogood "can't add to it, isit" Boyo
Wales - the sound made when you find your country ranked below the Faroe Islands...
That is classic !!!!
Quote from: LBNo11 on July 13, 2011, 01:45:08 PM
Quote from: CorkedHat on July 13, 2011, 01:02:27 PM
Quote from: finnster01 on July 13, 2011, 12:46:26 PM
Quote from: LBNo11 on July 13, 2011, 10:37:04 AM
Quote from: sipwell on July 13, 2011, 10:18:15 AM
This confuses me to an extent inexplicable by words.
Benelux = Well lit
Belgium = The weight lifting part of a gym
Netherlands - where they ought to stick the MJ Statue
...CH, shouldn't that be Neverland..?
I am pleased you got the joke LB! :007:
Flemish - a moderate amount of catarrh
Antwerp = A very annoying ant
Ghent = A visitor from Fulham
Necrophiliac - A person who over eats when tucking into a fish supper or especially cod's roe.
Flemmings = Belgian riders in Tour de France cycling over a cliff in a row
water otter = a kettle
Subscribe = An inferior writer
Quote from: LBNo11 on July 18, 2011, 10:11:24 AM
Subscribe = An inferior writer
Inscribe = a trendy writer
prescribe = crayons
Eiderdown - Gudjonson's career path
downsize - single, double or king
extension - the feeling you get when bumping into your last girlfriend
Derriere ~ the atmosphere in a cow shed (Yes, I know it's not Engerlish :59: )
Tony Hancock – the order in which a masseuse plies her trade. (Get the padlocks ready) :down_under:
Circumstance = Standing with ones legs wide apart post op..!
Circumspect - being attacked by a bird during a delicate operation.
Tom Cruise = what Tom Cruise does on a boys' night out. Allegedly.
Cheapskate = an inexpensive portion of fish
There's some crackers in here... Thanks chaps.
Regulatory = The thermostat in the conservative side of the House of Parliament
BrookS = stream of read source
Romantic = a Latin parasite
Moderator - A futuristic cyborg sent back through time to ride a vespa
Sorry, but I've held off long enough now...
Sipwell - instruction to a posh tea drinker. 075.gif
Quote from: Ron Sheepskin on July 19, 2011, 11:01:25 PM
Moderator - A futuristic cyborg sent back through time to ride a vespa
...my secret is out:-
(http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg140/scaled.php?server=140&filename=quad03.jpg&res=medium)
Hand bag = a glove
toilet = small room for rent
Category= gruesome feline
Quote from: Ron Sheepskin on July 19, 2011, 11:08:36 PM
Sorry, but I've held off long enough now...
Sipwell - instruction to a posh tea drinker. 075.gif
No worries. I have no clue what this thread is about. I have been talking to a number of Johnny Foreigners on here and they have no clue either. We all suspect that Brits are just mad people.
Best thread in a longun, Sip.
Nogood "can't think of anything else to say, isit" Boyo
Threadbare - a post to which nobody replies
Football - a bunion
Cricket - an insect that lives for five days with no result
Basketball - a big dance held in Barcelona
Croquet - the only game where the winner ends up with a shawl
Archery - For radio listeners who remember Walter Gabriel
Cribbage - A card game where you look at someone else's cards
Quote from: CorkedHat on July 18, 2011, 01:19:33 PM
Tony Hancock – the order in which a masseuse plies her trade. (Get the padlocks ready) :down_under:
Fab!!!! Laughed my socks off
Quote from: sipwell on July 20, 2011, 02:32:16 PM
Quote from: Ron Sheepskin on July 19, 2011, 11:08:36 PM
Sorry, but I've held off long enough now...
Sipwell - instruction to a posh tea drinker. 075.gif
No worries. I have no clue what this thread is about. I have been talking to a number of Johnny Foreigners on here and they have no clue either. We all suspect that Brits are just mad people.
It's not just the English.
Francophone - appareil de communication réservé aux dictateurs
Quote from: The Bronsons on July 21, 2011, 12:52:21 PM
Quote from: sipwell on July 20, 2011, 02:32:16 PM
Quote from: Ron Sheepskin on July 19, 2011, 11:08:36 PM
Sorry, but I've held off long enough now...
Sipwell - instruction to a posh tea drinker. 075.gif
No worries. I have no clue what this thread is about. I have been talking to a number of Johnny Foreigners on here and they have no clue either. We all suspect that Brits are just mad people.
It's not just the English.
Francophone - appareil de communication réservé aux dictateurs
:011:
Octogon - a dead octopus
Gelignite - to set fire to jelly
Liverpool - spare parts facility for alcoholics
Automate - Car Lover
DNA - National Association of Dyslexics
Cockatoo – A bird with two dicks
Dogma – Bitch
Dogmatic – Bitch trapped in a washing machine
ignoranus: not just stupid..
Pentagram - Occultist stripper
Invoice = Mr LBNo11 at a Fulham match
Spain = Popular recreation facility with baths and massage treatments
Germany = Random collection of bacteria
Dentist = Millwall thug
Exam = Afternoon
My contribution will be more Fulhamish...
Stockdale : yes, we have valleys in the storeroom
Briggs: cells on-board ship.
Boa Morte: you're ahead of me.. its too easy.
Barry Hayles: Welcomes loudly in South Wales
Thamesbank: a river full of money
Bobby Drake: a good player, ducky.
Cutbush: plant pruner.
Paul Bracewell: Hold tight, Paul, and cop a load of this.
Les Barrett: God
Jimmy Conway: God's right hand man.
Stan Horne: randy midfielder.
Cliff Jones: a Welshman at the seaside.
Graham Leggat: on yer bike, Graham
Teddy Maybank: a cuddly animal trying to decide what to do with his wages.
Viv Busby: girl in a tall furry hat.
Hangeland: a world where coat hangers rule.
Sipwell appears to be correct - you're all barking !
Hmm, Barking - a regal pisspot ?
Flatulent - a small home belonging to someone else.
Splatter - the aftermath of a steamroller running over a bent Swiss football official
Porcupine - a longing for roast pig
Thanks lads (and lasses) - this thread is pure classic, had the guys here reading it this morning and the howls of laughter just rang out. :011:
Polymorph - a shape-shifting Parrot
Polytechnic - a geeky parrot
Polygon - an ex parrot (Norwegian Blue perhaps)
Quote from: Logicalman on July 26, 2011, 05:50:26 PM
Polymorph - a shape-shifting Parrot
Polytechnic - a geeky parrot
Polygon - an ex parrot (Norwegian Blue perhaps)
lovely plumage
Manhole = speaks for its self :58:
Handlebars= Alcoholic in control
Pullover.......what a newborn jewish boy loses within 8 days of birth.
Itchy fanny...........japanese motor bike
Penalty = a drink in prison
Universe = a poem with one stanza
Diverse = a poem in two stanzas
Multiverse = a poem with more than two stanzas
Cabbage = taxi driver's know-how
John Major = a large toilet
Johnny Cash = Change from Durex machine
Gerry Daly = German newspaper
diabetic - welshman who wagers on insect races
gigantic - massive insect
carcass - what the mamma and pappas went on rod trips in
rampant - trousers for male sheep
after such a dismal game what do you expect?
Quote from: HatterDon on July 26, 2011, 06:22:54 PM
Quote from: Logicalman on July 26, 2011, 05:50:26 PM
Polymorph - a shape-shifting Parrot
Polytechnic - a geeky parrot
Polygon - an ex parrot (Norwegian Blue perhaps)
lovely plumage
plumage = a prune
Dickson Etuhu = snail
Dickson = Clitoris
Etuhu = The sound my bottom makes when he is on the field
Voluptuous - We can choose the output level of this sound
Important - Buy an ant from abroad
Inaccurate - A sexual position involving a lower member of the clergy
Quote from: WhiteJC on July 29, 2011, 12:23:43 PM
Important - Buy an ant from abroad
Expectant - awaiting an ant to turn up
Cognoscente - a metal wheel which doesn't smell of anything
Quote from: WhiteJC on July 29, 2011, 12:23:43 PM
Inaccurate - A sexual position involving a lower member of the clergy
I've just wee'd a little. 064.gif
There are some real crackers here! 098.gif 098.gif 098.gif
Feedback = Someone who puts food up their arse
abundance = a rave for cakes
mobile = what the chairman can taste when someone says "Lawrie Sanchez" :020:
Celebrate = the cost of hiring someone famous
Deniability - withholding a cuppa from a goat.
Excite = spotting your former girlfriend
Excite = former webpage
Excite = a completed building
Perfect = a snieor shocol monitro
Dynamo = a prediction of imminent death
Hymen = gay greeting
Quote from: Airfix on July 29, 2011, 12:44:56 PM
Quote from: WhiteJC on July 29, 2011, 12:23:43 PM
Important - Buy an ant from abroad
Expectant - awaiting an ant to turn up
Hydrant = what to do with your ant when the anteater turns up
Preparation = get some food ready
Counterchange = old lady in front of you at the supermarket
Gravy = of or pertaining to a burial service
Surmount = sexual relationship with the boss
Bodyguard = all-over condom
One from Mrs S:
Expert = a middle aged woman's breasts
Quote from: Ron Sheepskin on July 29, 2011, 07:29:30 PM
One from Mrs S:
Expert = a middle aged woman's breasts
Expert - ex as in "has been", spert as in "drip under pressure"
Offsides = The parts of the IKEA assembly kit you are left with
L'après-midi d'une faune - So many people calling me this afternoon.
Quote from: The Bronsons on July 21, 2011, 12:52:21 PM
Quote from: sipwell on July 20, 2011, 02:32:16 PM
Quote from: Ron Sheepskin on July 19, 2011, 11:08:36 PM
Sorry, but I've held off long enough now...
Sipwell - instruction to a posh tea drinker. 075.gif
No worries. I have no clue what this thread is about. I have been talking to a number of Johnny Foreigners on here and they have no clue either. We all suspect that Brits are just mad people.
It's not just the English.
Francophone - appareil de communication réservé aux dictateurs
Crêche - road accident in East Horsley
Dorking - doing things silly people do
Woking - when the alarm clock went off
Bookham - where referees live
Mitcham - where JMNo9 might live
Tooting - expelling air from the anus, tunefully
Effingham - the application of expletives
Putney - golf stroke gone wrong
Hammersmith - Neil getting stick on the board
Ewell...never walk alone
Wentworth - the value of a former centre half
I suppose that the act of mixing 2 FoF threads is a case of mixed metafofers, so having just read the shoe laces thread, I will add:
recording : putting in new shoe laces
recreation: God rebuilds the world from scratch
rehearsal: practise taking the coffin to the cemetary
reptile : floor covering salesman (alternative definition: Harry Rednapp)
Discoveries = flat egg-producers
Portrait = charge for docking
Fortress = a fort for ladies
Quorn on the cob = a vegetarian alternative to corn on the cob
Monogamist = someone who is only able to play one way
Polygamist = someone who will only play with parrots
Principally = on good terms with royalty
Quote from: finnster01 on July 29, 2011, 01:14:29 PM
Feedback = Someone who puts food up their arse
Sounds like something Fat Fred does when under the affluence of incahol !
Quote from: GoldCoastWhite on August 01, 2011, 02:04:16 PM
Quote from: finnster01 on July 29, 2011, 01:14:29 PM
Feedback = Someone who puts food up their arse
Sounds like something Fat Fred does when under the affluence of incahol !
Thanks for clearing that up. I wondered where the word 'painstaking' came from !
Quorn again - to be reincarnated as a vegetarian, or "oh no, not more of that processed fungus extract"
Painstaking - the application of a sharpened pole to a fundamental orifice
A good day at the orifice - one that isn't painstaking
Quote from: FC Silver Fox on August 01, 2011, 02:12:31 PM
Quote from: GoldCoastWhite on August 01, 2011, 02:04:16 PM
Quote from: finnster01 on July 29, 2011, 01:14:29 PM
Feedback = Someone who puts food up their arse
Sounds like something Fat Fred does when under the affluence of incahol !
Thanks for clearing that up. I wondered where the word 'painstaking' came from !
Submission - A less important task
Excell - A former jail
Denial - A river in Egypt
Rupee - the urine from a large Australian marsupial
Zulu - a toilet at an animal park
Finesse - a female Finn
Finish - a bit like a Finn
Flabbergasted - appalled at how much weight you have gained
Nicotine - to arrest a youth
I am reading this bollocks paper at the moment and my mind started wandering again...
Benchmark = Former Fulham manager
Analytics = A Y-pattern of tics attacking your arse
Framework = Fixing the windows
Interpretable = the time getting by waiting for the delivery of your new table
Is this still going? oh all right, I'll try and bring it back to football...
banned - No musical instruments allowed at the Cottage.
sweeper - Sooty's hand operative.
striker - useful for a match.
defender - a car bumper in Little Italy, New York.
centre back - what you do if she isn't worth keeping.
Kingdom - a contraceptive specially made for royalty
Kitcat - flat pack pussy
Thinking - a slim monarch
Car Park - how Noah saved the fishes from the great flood
Lactose - a person missing two or more of the five foot digits
Lavender - someone who's sole purpose is to destroy toilets
Quote from: WhiteJC on August 21, 2011, 10:49:29 AM
Kingdom - a contraceptive specially made for royalty
Kitcat - flat pack pussy
Thinking - a slim monarch
Car Park - how Noah saved the fishes from the great flood
Lactose - a person missing two or more of the five foot digits
Lavender - someone who's sole purpose is to destroy toilets
...inspired... 064.gif
Liverpool = NHS waiting line for liver transplants
Manchester = A male with a very hairy chest (as opposed to a Rooney)
Blackburn = Overcooked chicken
Prefect- The moment just before your told to "feck off".
Canopy- Something I wouldn't drink
Nitrate- What a hooker charges after 6:00pm
Cockamamie- a man who injures chickens
Jollification = the process of turning a good defence into a shambles
Martini - To rough up a dwarf or small person.
Shampoo - a pyramid scheme involving fake dog Shlt
Express - a dead journo
Bondage - the expiration date stamped on a box of Bon-Bons
Skillet - a minor skill, like wiggling your ears
Indigent - Where a sex toy may end up at Graham Nortons house
...by George a yank gets it, well done CF1.. :dft012:
I'm amazed at the inventiveness of this thread. I now look at every word I read twice, just to maybe get a look in here !
as I was looking through the threads for 'match reports' I found this so....
Juniper - Did you bite that woman?
Saxophones - A large bag full of telecommunication devices.
Sexual - Proposition from a Louisiana prostitute.
Edelweiss - An unused bench clamp.
Surreal - A conga with a knighthood.
Example - Much thinner.
Very good, I don't how you come up with them!!
Mammaries - John and Bjørn's mother
Legacy - woman wearing a split skirt to to the thigh
Copulate - A Policeman late for his shift
Pretend - the moment just before you pay for something
Matchday = Guy Fawkes Night
Consider-sympathetic jury
Eskimo footballer falls cutting grass!
one for HatterDon
Nostrum - Misplayed guitar chord
================================================
Notary - Definitely not Harry
Notable - A complete lack of desks
Hooray - The output from a sonic screwdriver
Hormones - Noises from a bordello
Website - Arachnoid targetting device
Woodpecker - Might consider giving her a small kiss
Femoral - The art of cunnilingus
Florist - An expert on floors
Paintings - Jamaican torture implements
Papist - Dad's drunk
Obstacle - a German fruit that's in the way
Gemuse - a German speculating about vegetables
Quote from: Holders on May 10, 2013, 05:02:40 AM
Obstacle - a German fruit that's in the way
Gemuse - a German speculating about vegetables
Schmuck - A disreputable German jeweller
Nantwich - Harry's Gran
Goblet - A very small mouth
Grapple - A cross between a grape and an apple
Grappling - A young grape
Godspeed - It's raining
Semantics - Very small blood sucking creatures particularly fond of sailors
Sexual - Proposition from a Louisiana prostitute
Summer - Someone who is good at arithmetic
Capitulate - The mistake BP made in the Gulf of Mexico
Circle - The coolest knight around
Matt Inglis - not shiny, enveloped by dormouse
Continuing the vegetable theme:
carrot - rust
artichoke - painter's cough
cauliflower - a bouquet for a sheepdog
broccoli - a dog that rounds up badgers
broccoli - a badger's intestinal infection
purple-sprouting broccoli - probably untreatable in a badger, better shoot him
before a cow catches it.
parsnip - father's tipple
turnip - to rotate one's tipple
asparagus - to try to be like Mr. Uhlenbeek
Exfoliate - Dalek soap
following on from the recent post on the "language" used on the offal, here's a few words we should look out for...
Macaroon - To leave a Scotsman on a desert island
Magenta - Here comes the Queen
Mishmash - What Sean Connery will do if he doesn't get to church on Sunday
Module - Christmas with The Who
Nose dive - Bad plastic surgery clinic
Ovaltine - A fat adolescent
Pantomime - Underwear for the hard of hearing
Passport - Fathers' race
Pastiche - What Sean Connery eats in Cornwall
Phlegmatic - Battery-powered handkerchief
Pomegranate - Australian for a Englishman made of stone
Pretext - Letters and phone calls
Psychedelia - Mental cook
Quick - Noise made by a dyslexic duck
Receipt - To sit down again
Realist - A catalogue of bottoms
Reindeer - A Michael Winner weather prediction
Scruple - Cross between a screw top and a ring pull
Tabby - A big church in Yorkshire
Template - The secretary hasn't turned up
Tenure - How they describe a decade in the West Country
Testicle - A boat maker's first attempt at a coracle
Toll - Where you try to put the ball in on a Yorkshire golf course
Transport - Cross-dressing athletes
Truculent - That lorry you used to rent out
Unfettered - Without Greek cheese
Urinate - You're a size eight
Vanish - Rather like a van
Walnut - An obsessive bricklayer
Warehouse - A person who turns into a house at the Full Moon
Wince - A setting on Jonathan Ross's washing machine
X-ray - Former fish
Yodelling - Trainee Jedi knight
Zucchini - Animal park enthusiast
A couple of football definitions I've just made up.
Manager - woman
Physio - very sparkling water
Quote from: WhiteJC on July 17, 2011, 08:24:27 AM
Kaleidoscope - new traffic camera which only captures accidents
Logarithm - to record a piece of music
Logarithm - Folk music of the North American lumberjack.
A sailor throws a bucket of slops overboard from the top deck of a passenger liner shouting the warning "look out down below", seconds later an angry voice from below responds "You stupid English why you say look out when you mean look in".
Immaculate contraption - the popemobile after a wash.
Bungalow . something none of todays agents would accept
Piazon .conveniant place to stop in Spain when caught short
Jokanovic Tinned egg to rub on your chest
Les barratt fewer pub rodents
Kalas - female motor mechanic
Malbranque = sick horse
Brevett = frog's brother
Hoogland = where hoogs live
Nevland = where Gary and Phil live
Cutbush - Brazilian
Fraser - what you use for the above
Quote from: GoldCoastWhite on July 18, 2011, 01:12:41 PM
Derriere ~ the atmosphere in a cow shed (Yes, I know it's not Engerlish :59: )
London Derriere = dannyboi
Jokanovic- a scot and a witch
Quote from: The Bronsons on July 21, 2011, 12:52:21 PM
Quote from: sipwell on July 20, 2011, 02:32:16 PM
Quote from: Ron Sheepskin on July 19, 2011, 11:08:36 PM
Sorry, but I've held off long enough now...
Sipwell - instruction to a posh tea drinker. 075.gif
No worries. I have no clue what this thread is about. I have been talking to a number of Johnny Foreigners on here and they have no clue either. We all suspect that Brits are just mad people.
It's not just the English.
Francophone - appareil de communication réservé aux dictateurs
El gare = music at a railway station
Murphy = price paid by one of the wise men for gift
Hangeland = where aircraft live
mitroglou = what i use to stick 'wild things' together with
Peyton = costs £100
Cohen = a member of the chicken union
Piazon = hero
Tsunami - Mexican wave at St James's Park
Podiatrist - Expert on whale nutrition
Fulminate of Mercury - Local newspaper report of our famous win at Halifax
konchesky = someone who gets one over on our local rivals
This is brilliant. keep em' coming :008:
Abigail - a large wind
Academy - school for complete bastards
Accomplish - a drunken sidekick
Acne - Borough in East London
Acoustic - a Scottish cattle prod
Annex - Captain Mark Phillips
Announce - 28 grams
Arsenal - the whole body
Acne carriage - spotted taxi
Shambles = wanders through a library
Frisbee = honeymaker with an afro
Biplane = An aircraft that flies both ways
Malpractice = honing the skill of being sick
Whimsical = insignificant icicle
Lambasted = young sheep prepped for Sunday lunch
Fulhamish – not quite the whole pig
Stagnant = Dec replaced by a male deer
Instagram = forcibly insert something into a deer
Copycat- me (apparently)
Adultery: What happens after puberty.
Allocate: Greeting for example, to Ms Winslet.
Alternative: To modify a member of the indigenous population.
Boycott: A small bed for a male child.
Bratwurst: The very naughtiest of children.
Britanny: A bit like Britain.
Brouhaha: A hilarious drink.
Buckingham: A rodeo pig.
Busking: Owner of many buses.
Canopy: Tin of urine.
Capitulate: The mistake BP made in the Gulf of Mexico.
Car Park: How Noah saved the fishes from the great flood.
Castanet: To go fishing.
Depend: Opposite the shallow end.
Dialogue: An awful piece of wood.
Dialysis: To ring your sister.
Dreadlocks: Fear of canal holidays.
Quote from: WhiteJC on July 07, 2019, 12:46:28 PM
Adultery: What happens after puberty.
Allocate: Greeting for example, to Ms Winslet.
Alternative: To modify a member of the indigenous population.
Boycott: A small bed for a male child.
Bratwurst: The very naughtiest of children.
Britanny: A bit like Britain.
Brouhaha: A hilarious drink.
Buckingham: A rodeo pig.
Busking: Owner of many buses.
Canopy: Tin of urine.
Capitulate: The mistake BP made in the Gulf of Mexico.
Car Park: How Noah saved the fishes from the great flood.
Castanet: To go fishing.
Depend: Opposite the shallow end.
Dialogue: An awful piece of wood.
Dialysis: To ring your sister.
Dreadlocks: Fear of canal holidays.
You appear to be going through the alphabet John
Logarithm - folk music of the north American lumberjack
Bettinelli - woman who works in a bookmakers
(If only I could find my old Uxbridge English dictionary)
Blimey I forgot about this thread... It's a good 'un... Keep them coming!
Endear: This is where it stops.
Escalator: An Australian word meaning to delay the questioning of a lady.
Example: Much thinner.
Exorbitant: The now retired first insect astronaut.
Extractor fan: One who used to like farm machinery.
Farthing: Something a long way off.
Fauna: A whirlpool bath for young deer.
Feasible: Able to charge for.
Felicity: To knock London over.
Final: The last thing you hammer into a coffin.
Finish: A bit like a Finn
Giblets: Very small gibs.
Gladiator: An unrepentant cannibal.
Goblet: A very small mouth.
Godspeed: It's raining.
Grandstand: A shelf designed to display a large quantity of money.
Grapple: A cross between a grape and an apple.
Gregorian: Someone unsure of his name.
Reading through all of these was like an episode of "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" 064.gif 064.gif
Quote from: WhiteJC on July 09, 2019, 12:41:47 PM
Endear: This is where it stops.
Escalator: An Australian word meaning to delay the questioning of a lady.
Example: Much thinner.
Exorbitant: The now retired first insect astronaut.
Extractor fan: One who used to like farm machinery.
Farthing: Something a long way off.
Fauna: A whirlpool bath for young deer.
Feasible: Able to charge for.
Felicity: To knock London over.
Final: The last thing you hammer into a coffin.
Finish: A bit like a Finn
Giblets: Very small gibs.
Gladiator: An unrepentant cannibal.
Goblet: A very small mouth.
Godspeed: It's raining.
Grandstand: A shelf designed to display a large quantity of money.
Grapple: A cross between a grape and an apple.
Gregorian: Someone unsure of his name.
Is an extractor fan not someone who used to support Ipswich Town.
Quote from: Beamer on July 09, 2019, 02:06:57 PM
Quote from: WhiteJC on July 09, 2019, 12:41:47 PM
Endear: This is where it stops.
Escalator: An Australian word meaning to delay the questioning of a lady.
Example: Much thinner.
Exorbitant: The now retired first insect astronaut.
Extractor fan: One who used to like farm machinery.
Farthing: Something a long way off.
Fauna: A whirlpool bath for young deer.
Feasible: Able to charge for.
Felicity: To knock London over.
Final: The last thing you hammer into a coffin.
Finish: A bit like a Finn
Giblets: Very small gibs.
Gladiator: An unrepentant cannibal.
Goblet: A very small mouth.
Godspeed: It's raining.
Grandstand: A shelf designed to display a large quantity of money.
Grapple: A cross between a grape and an apple.
Gregorian: Someone unsure of his name.
Is an extractor fan not someone who used to support Ipswich Town.
:005:
Lovely to see those names from the past. I know that we have lost Corked Hat (The Bard) and Finn but what happened to NoGood Boyo, the Equaliser, Bronsons, Blingo, and all the others?
Mince pie - gay man walking past.
Display - Talk down leisure activities
Logout - a successful cr*p
Radish - Something that's quite rad
Beetroot - origin of pop music
Bullish - A bit like a Bull
Negligent - A man who wears lingerie
COVID-19 - the strange disappearance of toilet rolls from supermarket shelves
Handicap - a very useful hat
Heineken - shoplifting from only the upper shelves
Hippocampus - very large gay cat
History - a male alibi
Ho-hum - the sound made by a vibrating garden tool
Hooray - output from a sonic screwdriver
Hormones - noises from a bordello
Huge - something belonging to Hugh
With all the bad news around,I love this thread for some light relief. Well worth going back through.
One of my favourites:
Onomatopoeia - Taken short when entering the house.
this had me giggling for about 10 minutes 064.gif
Injury - Lead singer with The Blockheads
Icicle - A bicycle made by Apple
Irony - Claiming to be Barker or Corbett
Japanned - Similar to a European hand but rather more yellow
Justice - Nothing other than ice
Ketchup - To gain distance on someone
Kowtow - To drag a large farm animal
Lackadaisical - A bicycle made for one
Lycanthropy - The award for the best lichen
I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue - Uxbridge English Dictionary
Bigamist - heavy fog
Perspire - how a steeple jack charges
Glamorgan - male version of the vagazzel
Windfall - heavy fart
Eligible - electronically understood
Artifact - painting can get messy
Onset - TV power switch
Reckless - car accident with no damage
Forlorn - grass at the front of your house
Brilliant thread 😂😂😂
3 favourites:
Hollyhock: The act of pawning Christmas decorations
Gladiator: An unrepentant cannibal.
Escalator: An Australian word meaning to delay the questioning of a lady.
Crèche - road accident in East Horsley.
Canopy: Something I wouldn't drink
Canopy.
Difference between rich man, poor man, dead man.
One has it over his head
One has it under his bed
The last one is dead
This thread just proves that all Fulham fans are brilliant
Crêpe - "number twos" in East Horsley.
Ringlet - hire out a wedding band
Bountiful - stuffed with chocolate and coconut
Gonorrhea - dead flightless bird from South America
Ingest - I was only joking
Appease - simple software program
Relegation - Regarding a diplomat
Scotland - Parker's allotment
Allotment - Sincere statement
Grealish - Type of angry fish
Shambling - Paste jewelry
Shambling - Quiet walk
Category - Mutilated feline
Donate - Nathan's cake
Pest - Posh drunk
Skip - Tired snake
Tired - Overweight
Overweight - Covid queue
Prince - Photographs
Vaccine - Photo of a hoover
History - a male alibi.
Zulu - a toilet at an animal park.
Godspeed - it's raining.
Football =an English version of Soccer
Liverpool - Donor bank
Hartlepool - French donor bank
Erectile dysfunction - Mason ruining my party
Keyboard - Scratch card
Elgar - Spanish railway station.
Neotic Science.............something to think about
Clean sheet..............not a messy one.
My all time favourite:
Onomatopoeia - the first sign of a weak bladder.
and
Onesie - what the Queen calls a selfie
Prediction - Think before you speak
Attention - Avoiding decimals
Forum - Not quite sure
Normal - Looking on the bright side
Dumpster - Political clean up
Shampoo - Just a fart
Brexit - Sorry, too political to comment
Upbeat - Gather salad crops
Mattress - Dull hair
Shredder - Quietly embarrassed
Quietly - Italian choir
Japan - German cookware
Domino – antacid for bullies
Harmonicas – dangerous underwear
Chagrin - that little smile you have after getting your leg over
Reasonable - convince a male bovine
Shiitake - plays for Man City
Monumental - Scotsman telling you you're crazy
Flagrant - complain about a pennant
Disparage - Dad's not happy
Inform - playing well
Received from a mate:
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPad's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
• Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last.
Nanometer - a device for counting grannies.
Notary - definitely not Harry.
Whisky - a bit like a whisk.
Twitter - more of a twit
Quote from: Southcoastffc on July 30, 2023, 02:41:34 PMTwitter - more of a twit
Xcreet - the new word for tweet.
Fulfilling - When you have had enough of Fulham for now.
Abandon - pub entertainment
Scandinavian - bird watching
Triangle - have a go at fishing
Cabinet - A way to catch a taxi
Loofah - Instruction manual for a toilet
Quote from: WhiteJC on July 11, 2011, 03:31:02 PMnow that FoF has more "Johnny Foreigners", as a sign of welcome it would be nice if you could give some explanations of various English words or sayings.
I'll start...
Cardiology - study of knitwear
Jigsaw - how you feel after Irish dancing
Bouffant - heckle a typeface
Hairspray - incontinent german
Icicle - a small bike made by Apple
"Johnny Foreigners"
A condom for English ex-pats having sex with American ladies
Louise ----- A powerful laxative
Mobile - didn't think I'd throw up as much as that
Instagram - pop up grandma
Apéritif - Dentures
Incumbent - immoral, or criminal earnings
Vol-e-vent - airing a rodent
" Spurs " which you will find listed in the English Dictionary between Shite and Syphilis.
Digested; A Welshman who told a joke.
im english but dyslexic, i really don't know what's happening on this thread.
Are we making up meanings for words or are these actual slang? or is it something else that I'm not able to pick up on
Quote from: Willham on August 23, 2023, 09:23:28 PMim english but dyslexic, i really don't know what's happening on this thread.
Are we making up meanings for words or are these actual slang? or is it something else that I'm not able to pick up on
The "Uxbridge English Dictionary" is a silly game played on the BBC Radio 4 comedy series "I'm Sorry, I Haven't A Clue". The idea is to invent funny definitions for words - for example: Platypus (to give your cat pigtails), Flemish (rather like snot), Celtic (a prison for fleas), Bunny (rather like a bun), or 'cherish' (rather like a chair). Harmless nonsense!
Perversion - the cat's story.
Cavity - the force of attraction which enables people to stay on their feet whilst exploring caves.
Crucifix - religious adhesive.
rhadamanthine - divine male airplane tracker
profore - slicing it at the Ryder Cup
Leno - French for no
Suppository Furniture - Stuff you put up yourself.
Damages - ancient curse
Dialogue - an awful piece of wood
Dialysis - to ring your sister
propaganda - have a good look
hexagon - broken spell
dormant - formicidae's bedroom
Quote from: Barrett487 on March 18, 2024, 05:07:54 PMpropaganda - have a good look
hexagon - broken spell
dormant - formicidae's bedroom
Propaganda also a real Goose
Paulinha = Palhinha
Carney = Cairney
Castange = Castagne
Amanda = Adama
William = Willian
Quote from: Snibbo on March 19, 2024, 06:28:18 AMPaulinha = Palhinha
Carney = Cairney
Castange = Castagne
Amanda = Adama
William = Willian
Boa=Goer
Some great names from the past on this post. Finnster, CorkedHat and the often banned FatFreddysCat ::scarf::
Digest - Beau Geste's Welsh cousin.
Thesaurus - Greek Dinosaur
paparazzi untidy dad
legerdemain a French version of the Doncaster race which is being run tomorrow
pontificate could she be the next pope?
Homosexual Dinosaur - Megasaurarse
Pleasing - guilty or not guilty, in song
Regardless - visually impaired
Jambed - conserve mattress
trivial - 3-section glass container
Shampoo - pretend crap
Propane - sadist
Fanbelt- what Cantona did at Selhurst Park
meander - myself and the missus
Ratchet - rodent droppings
Rubbish - the condition of new boots when they're not fully walked in yet
Rampart - any piece of a male sheep
Invoice - can sing
Royalty - Queen Victoria sponge cake
Sandwich - New Zealand golf club
Quote from: The Equalizer on July 11, 2011, 03:33:19 PMCountryside - killing Piers Morgan
I so like that very clever
malpractice - honing the skill of feigning illness
undeserved - food given below the table
justice - scotch on the rocks, without the scotch
packaging - wolves aren't getting any younger
witness - scottish monster's sense of humour
Littlehampton - ????? (make your own definition up)
Quote from: I Ronic on March 19, 2024, 09:25:16 AMSome great names from the past on this post. Finnster, CorkedHat and the often banned FatFreddysCat ::scarf::
When it used to be FUN on here and we had a really good laugh.
Quote from: blingo on March 21, 2024, 02:33:11 PMQuote from: I Ronic on March 19, 2024, 09:25:16 AMSome great names from the past on this post. Finnster, CorkedHat and the often banned FatFreddysCat ::scarf::
When it used to be FUN on here and we had a really good laugh.
Emphasis on the words "used to be fun"
