Hammersmith End Toilets - Award nomination...

[Woolly Mammoth]

Latest update is that a Crack Unit of Meerkats have been stationed at every blind corner at the Excrement End of the ground to warn unsuspecting clientele of the existence of the Blob which is increasing in size as I speak.

A 'crack unit'? Would that be right up their alley?

Only for Alley Cats

I Would have thought the club would be already making extensive up to date changings to this particular Den of Iniquity.
Not a good look when you consider that this effects the long term loyal supporters of whom many travel away.
If nothing is done, then the whole thing stinks, if you excuse the Pun, and shows the contempt the club has for its real genuine supporters.

 

It's all beyond repair. It needs a full demolition and starting again...

But what about the toilets, you
must not forget them.

[FFC007]

Latest update is that a Crack Unit of Meerkats have been stationed at every blind corner at the Excrement End of the ground to warn unsuspecting clientele of the existence of the Blob which is increasing in size as I speak.

A 'crack unit'? Would that be right up their alley?

Only for Alley Cats

I Would have thought the club would be already making extensive up to date changings to this particular Den of Iniquity.
Not a good look when you consider that this effects the long term loyal supporters of whom many travel away.
If nothing is done, then the whole thing stinks, if you excuse the Pun, and shows the contempt the club has for its real genuine supporters.

 

It's all beyond repair. It needs a full demolition and starting again...

But what about the toilets, you
must not forget them.

[FFC007]

I'm surprised no one has injured themselves in the bogs with all the accidents and spillages in there.

I can confirm many a Dung Beetle has, as well as the odd sewer rat.

I hope they have bred sufficient numbers to get back to work starting 24th August Mr Woolly.

[Woolly Mammoth]

I'm surprised no one has injured themselves in the bogs with all the accidents and spillages in there.

 

I can confirm many a Dung Beetle has, as well as the odd sewer rat.

I hope they have bred sufficient numbers to get back to work starting 24th August Mr Woolly.

Yes they have enlisted a whole troop of hand picked Skunks who were short listed and who have been complaining about the aroma coming from the excrement end and who have recently rolled around on a profusion of bad eggs for 24 hours to help deal with this epic matter.
They have been instructed to put all their reports in writing, smoke signals no longer accepted as we are in a smoke free zone, and that includes Pipes with Old  Holborn and Old Rope.
Drain Pipes are exempt.
I can confirm that they have been reinforced by a crack unit of Wolverines who covered themselves from head to foot with endless vomit from Infantino when he looked at footage of himself wearing those white Brothel Creepers at the WC Final on Sunday and along with everyone else's vomit having to watch what was an excuse for a karaoke at the halftime period.

[FFC007]

I'm sure they'll be spotlessly clean for the first home game...





for five minutes...

[Woolly Mammoth]

I'm sure they'll be spotlessly clean for the first home game...





for five minutes...

Your socks might be.

[Woolly Mammoth]

I'm sure they'll be spotlessly clean for the first home game...





for five minutes...

Infantino's White Brothel Creepers won't be.

[FFCpmd]

I'm grateful to Holders for this quote on another thread:

"There is a still a street lamp in London directly powered by sewer gas."

So there we have it! Clearly this is the answer to the club's reluctance to upgrade the Hammersmith End toilets: demolish our toilets and a car crashes somewhere in London because a street light is suddenly extinguished!
 

[FFC007]

I'm grateful to Holders for this quote on another thread:

"There is a still a street lamp in London directly powered by sewer gas."

So there we have it! Clearly this is the answer to the club's reluctance to upgrade the Hammersmith End toilets: demolish our toilets and a car crashes somewhere in London because a street light is suddenly extinguished!
 

Upgrading the bogs is easy... a stick of dynamite!

[cottage expat]

I'm grateful to Holders for this quote on another thread:

"There is a still a street lamp in London directly powered by sewer gas."

So there we have it! Clearly this is the answer to the club's reluctance to upgrade the Hammersmith End toilets: demolish our toilets and a car crashes somewhere in London because a street light is suddenly extinguished!
 

Alternatively, harness the sewer gas to power our floodlights and save on electricity bills.

[FFC007]

A shame Millwall weren't promoted... they'd have destroyed the toilets in one afternoon when they visit!

[Woolly Mammoth]

A shame Millwall weren't promoted... they'd have destroyed the toilets in one afternoon when they visit!

I reckon it would have been the other way round. The aroma from the Toilets would have destroyed the whole of the Millwall Crew in the time it took to flush them all down the plug hole.

[FFC007]

I'm grateful to Holders for this quote on another thread:

"There is a still a street lamp in London directly powered by sewer gas."

So there we have it! Clearly this is the answer to the club's reluctance to upgrade the Hammersmith End toilets: demolish our toilets and a car crashes somewhere in London because a street light is suddenly extinguished!
 

Alternatively, harness the sewer gas to power our floodlights and save on electricity bills.

Perhaps an excrement recycling generator could harness all the mess and power the food outlets under the stand.

[SuperFreeman]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??

We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.

And you bang on about bogs.

[EN1 FFC]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??

We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.

And you bang on about bogs.

Don't worry I've sent a small cracked model of a toilet to Tony and his recruitment team as a prize for being the most useless recruitment team in the  Premier, that should speed them up. 😚
No wonder Silva didn't stay around for another round of will we won't we buy a player before preseason starts.

[FFC007]

I'm surprised no one has injured themselves in the bogs with all the accidents and spillages in there.

 

I can confirm many a Dung Beetle has, as well as the odd sewer rat.

I hope they have bred sufficient numbers to get back to work starting 24th August Mr Woolly.

Yes they have enlisted a whole troop of hand picked Skunks who were short listed and who have been complaining about the aroma coming from the excrement end and who have recently rolled around on a profusion of bad eggs for 24 hours to help deal with this epic matter.
They have been instructed to put all their reports in writing, smoke signals no longer accepted as we are in a smoke free zone, and that includes Pipes with Old  Holborn and Old Rope.
Drain Pipes are exempt.
I can confirm that they have been reinforced by a crack unit of Wolverines who covered themselves from head to foot with endless vomit from Infantino when he looked at footage of himself wearing those white Brothel Creepers at the WC Final on Sunday and along with everyone else's vomit having to watch what was an excuse for a karaoke at the halftime period.

[Woolly Mammoth]

I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?

What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.

Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??

We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.

And you bang on about bogs.

Precisely you have hit your thumb nail on the head. Because the next bang you hear will be a Stick of Dynamite 🧨 plus one of these beauties 💣, and I haven't even mentioned the warehouse full of Bazookas at our disposal.
So thank you for giving us permission to bang on about bogs, because you are bang on with your comments.
Even the Dung Beatles have voted in their thousands to boycott these premises.
Plus in return to rewarding your patience, banging on about Toilets at the Hammy End.
By reading out notifications and debate and observations of this derelict monstrosity.
It takes your mind off not for the first time, less important matters like late, delayed overdue, outstanding recruitment for the approaching season.
No need to thank us, all we request is that you
keeping reading.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation regarding this matter.